Oh, To Be Real

Two to Six Thousand!!

2011-11-30T06:39:00.000-08:00

That's a party.

It's You I Still Hear

2011-11-17T10:57:00.000-08:00

These Farewells A Mirror

2011-11-17T10:55:00.000-08:00

1964

2011-11-17T10:47:00.001-08:00

I Wouldn't Want to Exist Even if You Paid Me

2011-11-17T09:39:00.001-08:00

How much do you have?

This is So Very Flattering

2008-08-10T21:41:00.000-07:00

I don't think I've ever been tagged. It really is an honor for which I am deeply grateful, even moved to tears.

Six Random Things About Me:

1. I like those cornnut things. I could eat them by the bushel.
2. If I had naked pictures of bass players, I would post them online. That seems obvious.
3. X7.5 did glorious battle today but lost her cheese. The seagull had more experience in landing on heads to steal cheese than she had in shooting seagulls at close range.
4. If you make those hightops in my size, please drop me a line.
5. I did not shoot Tony Soprano.
6. I think Noodle from the Gorillaz is super-cute. I have her autograph.

June 24

2008-06-24T23:39:00.000-07:00

We're so sorry.

Moving Along...

2008-06-19T07:52:00.000-07:00

This is an Outrage

2008-06-03T20:35:00.001-07:00

How could they?

Places Your Mind Shouldn't Even Go

2008-04-06T08:17:00.000-07:00

Although I dreamed it on June 19, 2008, I ran into your sister a couple of times in lush springtime settings. She kept telling me that it was the anniversary of her brother's death. I tried to remember if there were other brothers besides the two of you, who are both still living (I hope.) I thought about calling you to see if something really did happen to your brother, but I couldn't figure out the numbers on my phone because I was dreaming, and then I realized that it is your sister who's gone, and I looked all over for her so that I could break the news. I lingered on the parallels between our families and worried for a while that I might be her and therefore not alive either. I finally found her in a place I've been recently, Allerton Mansion's Oak Room, although it was now attached to a busy street. She looked very young and happy and asked me if we should have a drink. I don't know if I ever told her she's gone because in my confusion I had to wake up.

It's Pretty

2008-03-09T18:44:00.000-07:00

TS Eliot - Burnt Norton

I

Time present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future,
And time future contained in time past.
If all time is eternally present
All time is unredeemable.
What might have been is an abstraction
Remaining a perpetual possibility
Only in a world of speculation.
What might have been and what has been
Point to one end, which is always present.
Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened
Into the rose-garden. My words echo
Thus, in your mind.
But to what purpose
Disturbing the dust on a bowl of rose-leaves
I do not know.
Other echoes
Inhabit the garden. Shall we follow?
Quick, said the bird, find them, find them,
Round the corner. Through the first gate,
Into our first world, shall we follow
The deception of the thrush? Into our first world.
There they were, dignified, invisible,
Moving without pressure, over the dead leaves,
In the autumn heat, through the vibrant air,
And the bird called, in response to
The unheard music hidden in the shrubbery,
And the unseen eyebeam crossed, for the roses
Had the look of flowers that are looked at.
There they were as our guests, accepted and accepting.
So we moved, and they, in a formal pattern,
Along the empty alley, into the box circle,
To look down into the drained pool.
Dry the pool, dry concrete, brown edged,
And the pool was filled with water out of sunlight,
And the lotos rose, quietly, quietly,
The surface glittered out of heart of light,
And they were behind us, reflected in the pool.
Then a cloud passed, and the pool was empty.
Go, said the bird, for the leaves were full of children,
Hidden excitedly, containing laughter.
Go, go, go, said the bird: human kind
Cannot bear very much reality.
Time past and time future
What might have been and what has been
Point to one end, which is always present.

A list

2008-03-03T18:55:00.000-08:00

Glory, Donnie, Deb, Dante, Dave, Linda.
May they all rest sweetly wherever they are.

Thanks, Norway

2007-10-12T18:18:00.000-07:00

And thanks to former US president Al Gore and the U.N.'s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change too.

I Could Watch That Over and Over and Over

2007-10-02T13:54:00.001-07:00

For Lisa

2007-09-19T09:26:00.000-07:00

From "The RuneCards," Rune 1, Mannaz, The Self:

Sun and moon
and your own heart
speak always of that which abides.
In solitude and stillness
know that the journey
begins and ends
with the Self.

(Thank you for all the days from 6/4/66 to 9/18/07.)

For Alex

2007-09-06T13:54:00.000-07:00

"A bigger leap came in an experiment about numbers, in which the parrot was shown groups of two, three and six objects. The objects within each set were colored identically, and Alex was asked, 'What color three?'

“'Five,' he replied perversely (he was having a bad attitude day), repeating the answer until the experimenter finally asked, 'O.K., Alex, tell me, 'What color five?’ '

“'None,' the parrot said."

(Alex made sure Irene would be in on September 6, 2007.)

Edna St. Vincent Millay Says

2007-08-29T07:01:00.000-07:00

"The world stands out on either side
No wider than the heart is wide;
Above the world is stretched the sky,
No higher than the soul is high.
The heart can push the sea and land
Further apart on either hand;
The soul can split the sky in two,
And let the face of God shine through.
But East and West will pinch the heart
That cannot keep them pushed apart,
and he whose soul is flat - the sky
Will cave in on him by and by."
(Renaissance)

Do You Think Unicorns are Pretty?

2007-08-18T12:16:00.000-07:00

Frankly I don't know what all the fuss is about. They attract pesky children, require constant brushing and bathing and lots of dental work, and seem quite stupid on the whole.

What do Many Popes, Kings, Clocks, Dates, and Tables of Contents Have in Common?

2007-08-16T18:00:00.000-07:00

Also, one method that works for many but not all of the numbers is to determine the smallest # of U.S. coins that would give a certain number of cents change. Like 15 cents is a dime and a nickel, so 2 coins. 8 cents is a nickel and 3 pennies, so 4 coins. 20 cents is 2 dimes. 6 cents is a nickel and a penny, so 2 coins. 50 cents is one coin. So you get the following, just like in the horse-hoof code:

6 -> 2
8 -> 4
15 -> 2
20 -> 2
50 -> 1

Does the Horse Speak Anything But English?

2007-08-16T17:14:00.000-07:00

The horse is really smart and really old (perhaps many centuries old) and came from Europe. It probably can understand any European language. So if you say fifteen in English, German, French, Spanish, Italian, or Greek, it will tap its hoof 2 times in response. It has been doing the hoof-tapping trick most of its life as far as anyone can tell.

Lovely Weather

2007-07-30T12:17:00.000-07:00

I just got the news! That's a great relief.

Me Too

2007-07-30T12:16:00.000-07:00

Also grateful to be considered human, if only by blogger.

Relieved that I'm not a Bot!!

2007-07-30T12:10:00.001-07:00

Just feeling lucky today that Blogger believes I am human. Whew!

They Commence

2007-05-31T11:18:00.000-07:00

X/6.5 and units of similar size and function, in just a few hours, will replace the old crop of first graders and will themselves be replaced by those who intend to come of age sometime after September 1. This is a moment to rejoice! To hug! To clean out the cubbies! To fear the allure of summer's luxury!

It's Time for Cute

2007-05-21T13:48:00.000-07:00

Who Scares You More - The Mothman or Tom Cruise?

2007-05-10T19:19:00.000-07:00

Remember back in the old days when contributors to this blog used to argue about whether Mel Gibson was human or somehow connected to the Mothman? And then everyone started getting weird phone calls where a guy would whistle and then croak about how we should shut up already about the Mothman before something really bad happened to us? Well, we think it did happen. We are suspicious that Wacky Tom is really Mothy coming around to punish for blowing his cover. Look at them side by side and think - could it be?

Rumours

2007-05-08T20:52:00.000-07:00

They say Old Blogger is dead and Long Live New Blogger and such things. Where have we heard THAT before? I spotted Old Blogger dashing from boulder to sand dune just the other day. Tune in, turn on, baby!

Happy Birthday to the Raven!

2007-04-16T11:30:00.000-07:00

She's been gone since the first day of spring 2006, but we still celebrate her birthday around here. She'd have been 15. "AWK," said the Raven, "I'm flying too close to the sun!"

Profound Apology

2007-04-03T20:48:00.000-07:00

I know I have let my many faithful readers down by failing to post for such a darn long time. I also believe that you will COMPLETELY understand once I confess my whereabouts and goings-on.

Being a creature of the wild, I rarely catch the latest hip television programs, and even when all my friends are glued to the SciFi channel, I am not curious. It all changed one night while I was studying blogs which might one day settle the burning question of whether humans exist, are an elaborate hoax, or perhaps result from a mass hallucination. A comment in Sadly, No! revealed shocking details from the third season finale of Battlestar Galactica, so I've been holed up since then watching every episode in order to make sense of the spoiler and return to normalcy. One and a half episodes left, and I'll be free again. Wow, do I need a bath!

Anthropomorphism Revised

2007-03-08T09:16:00.000-08:00

At a modestly attended conference in her bottom bunk, x.6 presented the startling results of her ongoing research into homo sapiens development. Noting that all adults have unique smells, she described a particular, but apparently common, matrilineal pattern: a 94 year old female was identified as smelling of hot cereal and strawberry, her female descendant of hot cereal and CHERRY, and the next generation female of ROSES and cherry. Interestingly, the associated but unrelated males smelled like boiled eggs and dead animals. We encourage x.6 to continue this important work as it promises to advance our own defense systems.

Happy Friday

2007-03-02T06:57:00.000-08:00

You Are a Soy Latte

At your best, you are: free spirited, down to earth, and relaxed

At your worst, you are: dogmatic and picky

You drink coffee when: you need a pick me up, and green tea isn't cutting it

Your caffeine addiction level: medium

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Well Look at This. I Survived the Switch!

2007-03-01T09:12:00.000-08:00

Somehow I made it through to the New Blogger! Hard to imagine. And I haven't yet decided how to use this new lease on life but am open to suggestions.

Boo

2007-02-21T10:27:00.001-08:00

You Are Creepy

Serial killers would run away from you in a flash.

How Scary Are You?

A Tribute to Me

2007-02-19T09:34:00.000-08:00

I may not be around for much longer, due to inevitable changes at blogger. It's been a blast, my friends, but the party calls. And I never don't take a call.

Oh yeah! A brush with greatness:

Thanks, Whoever You Are!

2007-02-19T09:30:00.000-08:00

From a letter posted at blackpeopleloveus.com:

"Hey, I really like your site. Along with many other themes, I particularly enjoyed the way you show that people can still be "racist" although they believe themselves not to be. In a case such as this, I put racist in quotation marks because it is not a conscious feeling of hate or ill-will but rather a subconscious set of stereotypes that are ingrained by societal norms.

"Anyway, in response to a previous letter...I don't believe the "race" or color of the people who created this site has any particular implications or significance. This, of course, is just an opinion and should be taken as such. I don't really understand how people define race or why. I am Korean, but was adopted at the age of five months and raised in a 95% white suburb of Philadelphia. Culturally, I'm "white" I suppose. I would call myself American. However, many strangers will look at me and think "Asian". Yes, physically I have the characteristics of an Asian. However, the term Asian describes only my looks. It has nothing to do with my traditions, culture, thoughts, or beliefs.

"Back to the 'implications' of the race of the creators of this site...I know that everyone has their own definition of race. Personally, I don't have one because I don't really know an accurate and fair way to categorize people while not judging them. "Race" is what you make of it. Whatever perceived implications are found by looking at the color of the people that created this site lies within your mind. These thoughts are there, most likely, because you fear or assume that other people have the same assumptions. (i.e. some sort of race dominance because white people created the site?)

"Stereotypes gain their strength from the number of people who are aware of them. By raising awareness of stereotypes you plant a seed within the minds of all who become aware. There have been many studies that show the impact of stereotypes upon the targeted group. While individuals may not consciously subscribe to them or even actively fight them, the unconscious effects are devastating. An exemplary study was done testing several black students at two times with tests of equal difficulty. One test asked the race or ethnicity beforehand while the other did not. The students did worse on the tests that asked their race. How many of these students do you think tell themselves that black people are stupid?

"The best way to fight stereotypes is by setting counter examples through your own actions. Until people see enough laundromats run by non-Asians, etc. people will only remember examples of the stereotype. I believe that in the case of stereotypes and "race", awareness is harmful because it is misleading. Culture is what separates us. Cultural awareness is the key. Color reflects nothing but light."

The Lesson (Maya Angelou)

2007-02-19T07:26:00.000-08:00

I keep on dying again.
Veins collapse, opening like the
Small fists of sleeping
Children.
Memory of old tombs,
Rotting flesh and worms do
Not convince me against
The challenge. The years
And cold defeat live deep in
Lines along my face.
They dull my eyes, et
I keep on dying,
Because I love to live.

What a Relief!

2007-02-15T12:01:00.000-08:00

You Passed Your Driver's Test

Congratulations, you got 7/10 correct.
You're a good driver - at least, when you want to be.

Are You a Good Driver?

We See It

2007-01-02T02:59:00.000-08:00

We toss it out there, and we admire it.

More Wise Words

2006-12-04T08:59:00.000-08:00

"What is the point of my curing your warts if you just go home and kick the cat?" - Leon Berg, Metzoke Dragot, Israel, 2002

Justice is Served!

2006-11-15T02:30:00.000-08:00

Another big mouth has been sentenced to silence. All hail the gods of Shut-the-Hell-Up!

Wise Words of Wisdom

2006-11-14T11:41:00.000-08:00

"My understanding of the Great Pumpkin's time schedule goes something like this: Don't fret if you think something should be coming about; just do what you can, as best you can, and if you can't, then don't worry: it will all fall into place in a way we can never fathom at the time." (Jeanne Blum, email)

It's My Favorite Holiday!

2006-10-31T11:39:00.000-08:00

Raise your hand if you're dizzy with joy that the most honest holiday of the year has come around. I know where I'll be, and some of you do too. I hope to see you there.

Soon to be Replaced by X.6!

2006-10-23T08:17:00.000-07:00

It beseeched me to change brands - no more of that locally produced bitter swill, switch switch switch to the glorious global takeover by Starbucks - so that I might purchase for it the remaining monster in the Starbucks Halloween crap toy collection! Being a good old beast myself, I will do just that.

Happy Birthday to Us!

2006-10-23T08:01:00.000-07:00

If we could be a number of years old, today we'd pick nineteen! And we'd celebrate with a frothy beer! Or a pack of cigarettes!

Knock Knock. Who's There? Boo. Boo Who? I Didn't Mean to Make You Cry.

2006-10-22T20:56:00.000-07:00

After learning that it should not have placed two forks into a piece of toast to extract it from the toaster, which it believed necessary because the toast was too hot to touch with fingers, the x.5 explains that it DOES know a safe way to run with scissors and begins to demonstrate.

A Stitch in Time

2006-10-18T21:48:00.000-07:00

For the first time in history, the x.5 asks its primary caregiver "How was your day?" Genuine discussion on the topic ensues and proves to be the most successful bedtime story ever. A triumph! The x.5 prepares to celebrate the birthday of o.4 by dreaming of creating a party hat for its tiny head. Visions of halloween snowglobes decorate the mind and the party table. Encrusted eye a minor annoyance.

Answer to x.5's Inquiry

2006-10-06T10:06:00.000-07:00

Heliotropium arborescens - fragrance very attractive; flowers deep blue, white, violet, lavender; blooms throughout summer with delightful abundance, tiny in cluster form above foliage; long, gray-green leaves are deeply veined; from one to four feet in height and width at maturity; plant after frost from indoor starts or purchase from pricey local vendor; full sun indicated; an annual in your backyard, darling, as in mine.

And a happy birthday to your primary caregiver!

Buddy's Birthday

2006-09-28T22:38:00.000-07:00

That's the Raven's Buddy, by the way.

Each of us presented the tune as tunefully as could be expected. Buddy listened carefully, one eye on the action, the other monitoring predators and sunset. Whimsical gifts were given, but she'll take on only one at a time to prevent trauma. Who wants to wake up to a swinging chimp effigy AND buttless donkey pinata the day after you've turned 12? Of course there were treats and snuggles, and while we've all adjusted to the Raven's terrible absence, we raised a glass to her as well.

Get on It!

2006-09-22T00:10:00.000-07:00

Happy Magical Frosting on the Tasty Autumnal Equinox Cake Day! Hope you got your money out and back in and blessed the season and sang our praises and danced naked with your trees!

Smarty Pants

2006-07-31T10:39:00.000-07:00

Your IQ Is 140

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius

Your General Knowledge is Genius

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Your EQ is 20

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

Spooky!!

2006-07-16T06:30:00.000-07:00

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Genius Belly Dancer.

Where You Lived: Mexico.

How You Died: Hung for treason.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I can pass this guy."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

We Had a Dream

2006-07-06T07:28:00.000-07:00

Or, more properly, we are a dream.

We bounced you to the neighbor's house many times in the dream, and each time the neighbor had more teeth and fewer mattresses on his floor until finally his stained undershirt had been transformed into a tailored dress shirt and he had something to say about all the landscaping you'd forsaken.

Then we bounced you to the pond between your house and the neighbor's house, and each time you could see less and less of the boards on your raft as it banged against rocks jutting out of the water, until you could finally see the steel rod framework and understand that it was more likely to sink than get you anywhere.

And then you realized that the raft's remaining boards weren't wooden at all but rather large citrine crystals at its front, sure to pull it down through the water once you could free it from the rocks where it was wedged. Then you realized, with the sun shining brightly on her, who you were trying to bury on this raft, and you let her go.

Then you slide out of sleep to ponder through the kitchen window her good wild friend, a bright red male chirping to you purposely to look look look and understand. Then you see that we brought you that dead bird because you needed one. It lies rotting on the property, covered with leaves and grass, until you choose or do not choose to bury it in place of the raven alongside her many former colleagues.

Soul Test Results!

2006-06-21T20:02:00.000-07:00

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world
So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time
You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all...
But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult

You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you.
Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses.
Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others.
Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life.

Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

The Devas Took a Quiz

2006-06-18T18:18:00.000-07:00

Your Ideal Pet is a Big Dog

You're both energetic, affectionate, and a bit goofy.
And neither of you seem to mind very slobbery kisses!

What's Your Ideal Pet?

Evil Drops By

2006-06-13T08:03:00.000-07:00

Male bluejays discovered my hideaway this morning. I don't know how they found us out, with R. Buddy keeping so quiet and all. In spite of her stealth, my enormous parrot companion was divined, and my batcave exposed, by a pair of bitchy boys determined to make her talk. She watched them as if she had no idea what they were screaming about (smart girl,) but I fear it is time to lift stakes and move along.

Perhaps they got word from some ocean birds keeping a careful eye on our movements along the gulf coast last month. When did the avian/primate bond go sour? Must they tell all?

Didn't I Say That Someday I'd Say I Told You So?

2006-04-28T06:50:00.000-07:00

Sure, I agreed that Bobby C is/was/ever shall be a brilliant videographer. If anyone's going to help you make a great audition tape, it's this guy. And I know the pressure was really building after that whole brush with fame when you sat in with Tenacious D. But didn't I warn you there was much more at stake? As nice as those convenience store employees can be at 2 or 3 or even 4 in the morning, didn't I beg you to be sure they don't have tabloid (or worse yet, cable television) connections? Are we falling apart, my dear friends? Is this the end of the world? I love you man, but I've been there.

Happy Birthday to the Raven!

2006-04-16T12:51:00.000-07:00

They ought to make this a national holiday. I would lobby for that if I could show my face in public, other than at convenience stores. There ought to be a parade honoring the Raven. Imagine! Every forest creature, every rooftop dweller in all the cities, every pixie, every deva, every slithering swamp thing - they'd all come down to see the floats and hear the quotes. Oh Raven! Happy birthday wherever you are.

Why No Peanut

2006-04-05T13:32:00.000-07:00

As the hour of truth draws near, I find an explanation for one regrettable thought from my last evening with the raven. I had considered sharing a peanut or a french fry or some pizza: If this is the end, and we both know it, then why not let's let go of this restrictive diet silliness and party till the lights go out? I dismissed the notion, failing to share naughty treats with my good friend, letting the moment slip away like that. You can imagine the tears I shed over my omission! But doesn't it prove that I had hope for the raven's survival, that at least a couple of brain cells were focused on our continued bright future and not our certain separation? Hope is better than a peanut anyway.

Unless

2006-04-02T23:30:00.000-07:00

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot.

I'm Sure I Saw The Raven Too

2006-03-30T19:56:00.000-08:00

RIP

Fin

2006-03-27T04:16:00.000-08:00

The Lorax said nothing. Just gave me a glance... just gave me a very sad, sad backward glance... as he lifted himself by the seat of his pants. And I'll never forget the grim look on his face when he heisted himself and took leave of this place, through a hole in the smog, without leaving a trace. (Seuss again.)

For the Raven

2006-03-25T11:20:00.001-08:00

The Raven Was Raptured

2006-03-23T11:21:00.000-08:00

I’d just learned of the raven’s unusual post-op grogginess when I entered the mummy’s tomb. A neatly wrapped infant and a pair of feet brought to mind correct burial practice for bird-friends. Perhaps the raven’s cousin, many years ago, was face up at the foot of an oak or maple, and perhaps I did a not too bad job with powerful herbs and careful binding very high into the old fellow’s healthier limbs; the raven certainly approved… I was about to describe this to X/5 when an object of interest called more loudly.

The raven and I go way back, breakfast companions of nearly fourteen years. We often walked together remarking on lovely groundcovers or strange turns of wind. You might have heard the raven sneezing from a picnic table in northern Wisconsin or screaming at the sight of an ungodly umbrella.

Two hours after the mummies, I was reading about James and the Jerusalem Church when the raven’s passing was announced. It followed seizures and medication and cardiac arrest and CPR, and it escaped explanation. But the raven told me weeks ago that “life doesn’t last” and winked one moonlit eye. During our quiet chat prior to the surgery, I had chosen to suppress my certainty and call it fear rather than alarm the raven or any other of our neighbors, but the raven threw a telling kiss in spite of my impressive restraint. Rigor mortis occurred within two minutes rather than the usual twenty or so – a great mystery for some perhaps, but to quote the raven, “gotta go.” A city man with jewelry so bright as to obscure both sidewalks ordered me to celebrate this good news. Through the long night which passed between that day and this, I held the raven to my heart until full flight was possible.

And More

2006-03-19T22:07:00.000-08:00

"What's more," snapped the Lorax. (His dander was up.)
"Let me say a few words about Gluppity-Glupp.
Your machinery chugs on, day and night without stop
making Gluppity-Glupp. Also Schloppity-Schlopp.
And what do you do with this leftover goo?...
I'll show you. You dirty old Once-ler man, you!
You're glumping the pond where the Humming-Fish hummed!
No more can they hum, for their gills are all gummed.
So I'm sending them off. Oh, their future is dreary.
They'll walk on their fins and get woefully weary
in search of some water that isn't so smeary."

2006-03-14T06:02:00.000-08:00

"I am the Lorax," he coughed and he whiffed.
He sneezed and he snuffled. He snarggled. He sniffed.
"Once-ler!" he cried with a cruffulous croak.
"Once-ler! You're making such smogulous smoke!
My poor Swomee-Swans, why, they can't sing a note!
No one can sing who has smog in his throat.
And so," said the Lorax, "-please pardon my cough-
they cannot live here. So I'm sending them off.
Where will they go?... I don't hopefully know.
They may have to fly for a month... or a year...
To escape from the smog you've smogged-up around here."

Trust Me on This

2006-03-11T10:37:00.000-08:00

While I'll admit there's a striking similarity between Mothman hanging off a bridge and Mel Gibson in any pose during any century, I'm telling you, crazy as it sounds, the dude is real. Moth is an amateur by comparison, even at his most melodramatic: check the movies.

Quoth the Raven's Buddy

2006-03-11T00:20:00.000-08:00

"Go, go, go, said the bird: human kind
Cannot bear very much reality.
Time past and time future
What might have been and what has been
Point to one end, which is always present."
-TS Eliot

Listen

2006-03-09T17:59:00.000-08:00

"They loved living here.
But I can't let them stay.
They'll have to find food.
And I hope that they may.
Good luck, boys," he cried.
And he sent them away.

Deal With It

2006-03-08T16:14:00.000-08:00

My evidence is better, stronger, bigger, smarter, and cooler than yours, Ness. There is no Mel Gibson, just Mothie goofin.

Historical Evidence

2006-03-07T23:52:00.000-08:00

Naysayers, take that! And that! Mel was spotted around these parts back in the 13th century, and there's talk of him having roamed the Middle East in even earlier days. You should listen to the sea creature!

Further Muse-ings

2006-03-05T14:20:00.000-08:00

He snapped, "I'm the Lorax who speaks for trees which you seem to be chopping as fast as you please. But I'm also in charge of the Brown Bar-ba-loots who played in the shade in their Bar-ba-loot suits and happily lived, eating Truffula Fruits.

"Now...thanks to your hacking my trees to the ground, there's not enough Truffula Fruit to go 'round. And my poor Bar-ba-loots are all getting the crummies because they have gas, and no food, in their tummies!

"They loved living here. But I can't let them stay. They'll have to find food. And I hope that they may. Good luck, boys," he cried. And he sent them away.

(Theodor S. Geisel and Audrey S. Geisel, 1971)

A Friendly Reminder

2006-03-04T14:27:00.000-08:00

"I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees. I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues. And I'm asking you, sir, at the top of my lungs" - he was very upset as he shouted and puffed - "What's that THING you've made out of my Truffula tuft?" - as channeled by Theodor S. Geisel and Audrey S. Geisel in 1971.

Cheese Has a Friend

2006-03-02T18:55:00.000-08:00

Oh bless the stars over sweet Wisconsin! Hug the cool winds, my darlings! Thank the gods of fermentation, Streptococci and Lactobacilli! Sing adulation as only Wallace and Gromit can! I have one true ally in this lonely lonely forest - the single human being who voted for cheese. (My nails weren't quite dry.)

I Will Very Much Miss Wintering Here

2006-03-01T02:41:00.000-08:00

It seems a good time for the family to choose a new Winter Holiday spot, what with the government of Malaysia dedicated to our capture. I KNEW I shouldn't have gone out for more bananas and coconuts, but they are delightful with Bailey's. Also considering a switch to antiperspirant and a new hang for late summer.

Allow Me To Introduce...

2006-02-28T12:32:00.000-08:00

...appetizers. It's nice to come up for air, though I must forego the bacchanalia (had a bit too much dinner, no chance of fitting into the traincar.) It is, however, a pleasure blogging with you, sirs.

My FAAAAVORITE Holiday!

2006-02-28T00:12:00.000-08:00

I absolutely ADORE Mardi Gras, and how fitting of you, my dearest friend, to christen our very own blog on the eve of the 150th!! I remember them well, the earliest years of carnival, when you and I would hop a train for the day long ride (but who can remember the ride - HAHAHA!), then we'd give up anonymity for lent, and we could travel the streets unremarkable for a day. And by all reports, they're having as grand a time as ever. Oh thank you so much!

Someone Believes in Me

2006-02-27T19:56:00.000-08:00

I've not bothered with people for a long time. I've kept to myself and a few good friends (like this fella here), but lately the blogiverse is peppered with rumors and queries. All of a sudden, everyone's an amateur crypto-bipedal-primatologist! I should have figured all hell would break loose when I came out of the darkness to see about these convenience stores with restrooms on the inside and cute little keychains and adorable pictures of puppies and an impressive variety of breath-freshening gum. Such wonderful companionship during the long lonely remote nights, but alas, my beloved clerks, perhaps bloggers by day, have let the old man cat out of the bag. I now accede to the demand for an internet presence. At least here, someone believes.