Didn't I Say That Someday I'd Say I Told You So?

Sure, I agreed that Bobby C is/was/ever shall be a brilliant videographer. If anyone's going to help you make a great audition tape, it's this guy. And I know the pressure was really building after that whole brush with fame when you sat in with Tenacious D. But didn't I warn you there was much more at stake? As nice as those convenience store employees can be at 2 or 3 or even 4 in the morning, didn't I beg you to be sure they don't have tabloid (or worse yet, cable television) connections? Are we falling apart, my dear friends? Is this the end of the world? I love you man, but I've been there.

Happy Birthday to the Raven!

They ought to make this a national holiday. I would lobby for that if I could show my face in public, other than at convenience stores. There ought to be a parade honoring the Raven. Imagine! Every forest creature, every rooftop dweller in all the cities, every pixie, every deva, every slithering swamp thing - they'd all come down to see the floats and hear the quotes. Oh Raven! Happy birthday wherever you are.

Why No Peanut

As the hour of truth draws near, I find an explanation for one regrettable thought from my last evening with the raven. I had considered sharing a peanut or a french fry or some pizza: If this is the end, and we both know it, then why not let's let go of this restrictive diet silliness and party till the lights go out? I dismissed the notion, failing to share naughty treats with my good friend, letting the moment slip away like that. You can imagine the tears I shed over my omission! But doesn't it prove that I had hope for the raven's survival, that at least a couple of brain cells were focused on our continued bright future and not our certain separation? Hope is better than a peanut anyway.

Unless

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot.