It's My Favorite Holiday!

Raise your hand if you're dizzy with joy that the most honest holiday of the year has come around. I know where I'll be, and some of you do too. I hope to see you there.

Soon to be Replaced by X.6!

It beseeched me to change brands - no more of that locally produced bitter swill, switch switch switch to the glorious global takeover by Starbucks - so that I might purchase for it the remaining monster in the Starbucks Halloween crap toy collection! Being a good old beast myself, I will do just that.

Happy Birthday to Us!

If we could be a number of years old, today we'd pick nineteen! And we'd celebrate with a frothy beer! Or a pack of cigarettes!

Knock Knock. Who's There? Boo. Boo Who? I Didn't Mean to Make You Cry.

After learning that it should not have placed two forks into a piece of toast to extract it from the toaster, which it believed necessary because the toast was too hot to touch with fingers, the x.5 explains that it DOES know a safe way to run with scissors and begins to demonstrate.

A Stitch in Time

For the first time in history, the x.5 asks its primary caregiver "How was your day?" Genuine discussion on the topic ensues and proves to be the most successful bedtime story ever. A triumph! The x.5 prepares to celebrate the birthday of o.4 by dreaming of creating a party hat for its tiny head. Visions of halloween snowglobes decorate the mind and the party table. Encrusted eye a minor annoyance.

Answer to x.5's Inquiry

Heliotropium arborescens - fragrance very attractive; flowers deep blue, white, violet, lavender; blooms throughout summer with delightful abundance, tiny in cluster form above foliage; long, gray-green leaves are deeply veined; from one to four feet in height and width at maturity; plant after frost from indoor starts or purchase from pricey local vendor; full sun indicated; an annual in your backyard, darling, as in mine.

And a happy birthday to your primary caregiver!